Transverse (The Road)

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Photo by:Gabriel Hoosain Khan

On the road, in a car,

veld on either side, rolling hills,

tree’s thorny and flat topped,

the clouds spread thinly, over blue, wonderful

deep blue sky

 

let the car be a convertible,

let there be wind through my long hair,

let my fingers be interlocked with yours,

let me drive,

on and on,

toward,

my mother- the ocean.

 

am I the same person?

still beautiful to you,

still as lovely as yesterday,

still as alive,

the road is where it begins and ends, I say

 

I catch your familiar reflection in the windscreen as it gets dark,

I am transparent – the sky explodes,

an explosion of sun set colour, our urges,

our desperations, our ever growing excitement, in darkening sky,

reflected, with pink, violent fiery orange, purple, with

a blue rim over the horizon,

ever foreshadowing darkness,

 

let it be so,

let us stop, and lie on the grass next to the road, and watch the orgasm,

the delicious destined orgasm, of deep purple velvet,

starry night sky.

 

but the road goes on and on,

we’ll listen to music, as we find a place to stay,

lets listen to something beautiful,

or better yet, you drive and I’ll play my guitar, I’ll play those

transgender strings, as you drive.

 

the sun is now behind us, and we have a stretch of moon lit

road, long, and narrow and windy and cold, through the karoo.

the stars, they cry out like night beetles,

in the light of that spangled bed sheet.

 

and then we may stop, at that diner, or this coffee shop,

and we’ll buy coffee and eat padkos,

some biltong, we’ll lean on the car,

lean on the car and watch the sun come up,

sighing with a quaint quiet pleasure,

smile, and wow, as the sunshine washes over us, and

we’re revived from the nightly pleasures,

carnal pulses of blood and sweat and saliva.

 

the radical and delicious ecstasy of being with another,

nestled between Kilimanjaro and Mount Kenya,

I am safe, your constancy and my flux did not collide

 

the road is open, and i smile, and drive,

it’s ok, because the road is here, the road, to lead me to anywhere,

and we’ll stop at a bar, and meet old friends, and make new ones,

there’ll be people, talking, laughing, [sighing] satisfied,

there’s something here, something holding us together,

 

something that isn’t the good food, fire, or sky

or the cheap whiskey and wine,

there’s something more than the guitar strings and rumba beat,

there’s something holding it all together, something at the centre, and between,

something real, metaphysical,

the road,

 

a headlight expanding, pulsating with life,

like intimacy, like that moment i kissed you close, against

a hotel window the city spread out like the cosmos,  

 the actual thing, like two fingers stroking the skin

over abdomen, like the moment i see you – months

after our encounter and our bodies interlock,

like twin lovers in the dark rock pools

close to the fire, it’s something about closeness,

something about togetherness,

something about moving, closer to something,

somewhere, a place.

somewhere, something more, something sweeter, something like what I felt for you,

but

 

we’ll drink too much and play too hard, and our connections will come loose,

we’ll try fit our hearts through a pinhole,

and the centre cannot hold, a revolution stillborn,

 

are you ok? the road is here, the road, to lead us to anywhere,

from the galaxy of blue, to a universe we choose,

you’ll be here, and there

maybe I’ll be someone else again, maybe, I won’t

be a person,

maybe I’ll be a feeling,

maybe, maybe, as I smile and take off, as I smile and drive, to that

cove I wanted to see,

or that hike on the coast, or to the mountain with the ferns,

or the canyon, with bat dropping and crabs, or the underground lakes,

or the ocean. hmm, [sigh], maybe,

 

maybe, maybe, you, lover,

you who hasn’t changed a bit,

will realise that I am not a person,

I cannot come to you, i am transition

like the passage,

the feeling, the experience,

maybe,

I am the road,

the road

©Gabriel Hoosain Khan

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